The Unspeakable Bounders At The FDA

Cad! Blackguard! Bounder! Ming loves these British tourists. Even when they finally notice the tiny a in ROLEXa, they still upgrade Ming from bum to bounder. They're only out twenty bucks or a little more than ten pounds. Victims of the bounders at the FDA are out their lives. Now continuing the flouting of all common sense, maybe, just maybe, if a secondary endpoint like TTP falls beneath the magical and arbitrary 5% to achieve statistical significance as does survival, there is hope for approval, only because TTP was a primary endpoint in previous studies and would be considered supportive. But should only survival itself, for which TTP is a mere surrogate fall under 5% but not to the degree it hits the assigned alpha, then thats no good. Bounders.

Ming Admits To Having Fears

Stouthearted Ming fears no man given his command of the ancient martial arts in general and his laughably modest I.Q., in particular. But Ming does fear two things. Being trapped between floors in an elevator with an accordionist playing the Beer Barrel Polka and that the dunderheads at the FDA will myopically and maliciously thwart Impact at interim. They may still be committed to defending their delay of Provenge, if for no other reason than to vindicate that decision to salve their bloated egos and defend their sordid careers. That being said, surely something akin to a bowling trophy could be awarded them for acceding to approval. Perhaps they could be allowed to run a lap around the perimeter of the Fischer's Lane edifice and have their ample bureaucratic hinnies slapped, much as when a baseball player hits a grand slam home run. As a last resort, might not Mitch agree to give Andy a pony ride? This assumes Mitch's back hasn't given out stooping to get all those options and that Andy doesn't insist on ridding sidesaddle as once was appropriate for those bereft of any balls.

How Howie's Hammered

FOIA info is finally extracted from Pazdur's guilt ridden hands. A conspiracy is proved. All survivors of deceased prostate cancer victims sue the conspirators jointly and severally. Win or lose, Howie must spend his considerable fortune made at the expense of the unfortunate victims of cancer on his own defense. A destitute Howie begs Ming for gainful employ after losing his license. The always soft-hearted Ming organizes dwarf tossing contests. Howie may not land on his feet, but he will go far in his new endeavors.

Ming Places Third In Special Olympics

The fix was supposed to be in, groused a shameless, disgruntled Ming as he limped away complaining bitterly about the FDA letting him down, yet again. They were supposed to to disqualify any better qualified contestants, just as they do when evaluating therapeutics whined the exhausted Ming still unable to catch his breath. Nevertheless, he vows to train harder for next year. His treadmill will have a cleverly placed Dendreon stock certificate just out of reach to motivate him. After all, everything about Dendreon seems always to be just out of reach anyway.

Ming Ladles Out The Kool-Aid

Using an industrial sized drum and shamelessly ladling it out with both hands, Ming observes that Pfizer has the stray $26 billion in cash on its books and is cursed with a withered pipeline. It could digest Dendreon with the interest it earns on that pile of cash several times over. This notwithstanding Dendreon's much vaunted "poison pill" and it's Delaware incorporation with all their hostile takeover laws. Postulate a laughable $12.50 bid. That's 250% of the current market price. Any Board of Directors that would refuse that sort of premium would be spending the rest of their collective lives in Court fending off shareholder lawsuits by those inclined to make their money in that fashion.

A Schmuck's Soliloquy

Graduating last in my class, with no desire to interact with sick people and devoid of all ambition, my future looked bleak. Never really sure if dyscrasia caused dysphoria or visa-versa, my understanding of medical science was limited to lancing boils. Luckily I obtained a sinecure at the equivalent of the Post Office for medical also-rans, the FDA. Ever looking out for numero uno, I became frightened that this new, untried therapy that had a one-in-forty chance of not working could impact my career aspirations if approved and then found to be wanting. Taking no chances with not only my precious pension, but my chances of putting in my twenty, then double dipping for another shot at pension with the NCI, I let Andy the Dandy take the heat. That clever rascal bought off the aggrieved Company with changes to their next trail, kept the advocates quiet with that knowledge and would have done the same with those pesky protesters, had they but met with him. Now at last, I should have been able to go back to my pre-retirement somnolent siestas if only those louts on the Dendreon message boards would clam up about all this. My one fantasy, is to do my part by someday getting that snotty, unwashed jerkoff, Ming in a dark alley and wring his scrawny, little neck.

Candidate Ming Throws His Beanie Into The Ring

Heeding the anguished cries of the electorate, darkhorse candidate, Ming offers himself as a choice in the Presidential race. "Anything that moves, Merciless" promises to nuke all enemies, real and imagined. Candidate Ming will dissolve the Union, thereby cleverly deflecting criticism from his own inadequacies by creating 50 new countries that can occupy themselves duking it out for supremacy. The major plank in his platform is to rejuvenate the airlines by having the government pay for free parachute jumps for all of Dendreon's enemies using the Merciless patented paper parachute. Ming only hopes the propeller on his beanie hasn't become bent when he threw it into the ring. Its a real crowd pleaser.

Like Money Bunky?

Notorious miser, Mei Wan Mu Ni, pulls at Ming's sleeve as they stand in line to buy stale, crumbled fortune cookies in a metaphorical attempt to conserve cash. He says if Ming likes money, Mei privy to an investment that at least sextuples within 18 months and is taxed at long term capital gains rates. Ming swoons at the thought of sex, money and gains all in the same sentence. Drooling with lust he kisses the unwashed hem of Mei's gown, begging to know this cornucopia's name. The cryptic and anagram loving Mei then avers that Redd Neon casts a bright light and walks away laughing. The inscrutable Mei is not Wong.

Crybaby Cryogenics

Everyone already says Ming's a stiff so actually freezing himself until interim may have merit if they can thaw him out in "the middle of the second half of the year" as was so artfully put by management when speculating on the interim's timing during the second quarter conference call on August 8, 2007. If that comes a cropper, one would hope to not then be so soggy that they couldn't do it again for 2009. Other than that, Ming's only hope to turn the stray shekel in the meantime is to be high bidder on the No-Doze concession at 3005 First Avenue, Seattle Washington. In the meantime, sans cryogenics, poor Ming is reduced to wiling away his time watching that great new television series, Paid Programming. Episodes are aired on all the channels.

Cold Comfort

Thinking is hard. Yet, Ming persists in pursuit of the great ontological questions, such as does the light really go out when you shut the refrigerator door? What great mind can know for sure? Likewise, who knows if the FDA is really such a collective simpleton as to waffle on it's decision on our Citizens Petition of July 27, 2007 asking for approval of Provenge based on interim results bailing them out from their commitments to delay Provenge? This is akin to the kid whose baseball breaks your window, not running until he sees if anyone is there to yell at him. And this is the braintrust that gets to decide who lives and who dies. Better they should be all locked in refrigerators to curse the darkness rather than allowing them to make anymore important decisions.

Enquiring Ming Wants To Know

Alert The National Enquirer, America's premier investigative periodical that this headline grabbing story has everything. UFO's Abduct Dr. Prior To Panel. Professional Panel Provided Questionable Question. Sleezy Sawbone's Spews Sordid Subversions. Sadaam's Sister Says Slay Sick Sufferers. Leaking Letters Located In Basement Of Horrors. Josep Mengele Finally Found Functioning At FDA Division. Prussian Putz Prodded To Confess Crimes Against Humanity. Look for the latest issue at your supermarket's checkout counter.

Ming Wears Pom Poms For Dendreon

Ming willingly becomes a cheerleader for Dendreon but adamantly refuses to shave his legs. Ming has reconciled himself to not depending upon a successful interim look if Dendreon isn't privy to a failed p value so as to have grounds for appeal , an option that has been bruted about in the past. A one-percent endpoint is too hard to achieve.So what can Dendreon then do until IMPACT completion in 2010? In 2001, Dendreon received a patent on the gene encoding trp-p8 which is a protein ion channel. An ignorant, unwashed Ming understands that this protein is expressed not only in 100% of prostate cancers, but in 93% of colon cancers, 80% of lung cancers and even 71% of breast cancers. Think about that. If a company wants to create an immunotherapy in any of those indications, they would be well served to license, partner, or otherwise buy access to Dendreon's patented gene that encodes trp-p8 since targeting this protein, targets those cancers. Likewise, this could be germane for small molecule development. So cheerleader Ming, looking quite fetching in his new cheerleader's outfit says, even without immediate Provenge approval, even without Nuevenge development and even with a supine management, trp-p8 alone is likely enough, with our juicy $2.60 per share NOL and tax credit benefit thrown in , to make this a very desirable investment and/or acquisition. So go team.

FDA Says Ming Is Management Material

Usually only paid to stay away, Ming is intrigued that someone might actually pay him a retention bonus, so he applies to the FDA for a job. Immediately pegging him as a truculent troublemaker thats not too bright and realizing the dysfunctional Pazdur must eventually be replaced, they give Ming the Senior Management Test. Only one question is on test. "How do the following words reflect FDA policy on public health? voodoo, banana, dresser, grammar, potato, revive, uneven, assess." Piece of cake! See how taking first letter of each word and putting it last, then spelling backwards gets you same word. So putting what should be first, last, getting it backwards and having nothing change is also FDA policy on public health. Everyone that thought Ming was just another vapid idiot, now can rest assured, that at least at the FDA, thats considered management material.

Its All In The Canards

"It's smaller than I thought it would be" commented Ming's date. "I hope we're talking about my apartment" replied Ming. Last time Ming got really lucky was March 29th so he hopes to make out better now than he did with that opportunity. But Ming is his usual suave self. So when she coyly asks if he liked her figure, he gallantly replied, "the bigger the cushion, the better the pushin". Just as with March 29th, Ming misplayed his hand, hence another quiet evening of free-cell was in the cards.

Chance Of A Lifetime

You are one very lucky schmuck. You're still eligible to get in on ground floor of the Czar's Imperial treasure now worth a cool ten billion. Five Hundred tons of gold bullion supposedly lost in Siberia transported there by Admiral Kolchak and remnants of White Russian troops and refugees in 1919. Granduncle Fong was subaltern to Aleksandr Vasilyevich Kolchak. Once they reached Irkutsk they tried to cross to the sanctuary of Mongolia over Lake Baikal. Fong secretly made contact with the Siberian Atamans, the Tatar Khans who were the last inbred dregs of the descendents of the Mongol hordes. Let Ming not bore you with the internecine strife that resulted in Fong's fabulous fortune now languishing in Mongolia which the fortunate you may now share in by helping legitimize U.S. ownership. All you need do is endorse and forward to Ming your Dendreon certs as an act of good faith. Now is not the time to hesitate. Think of all the Dendreon your share of five hundred tons of gold will buy. Ming awaits your eager response.

Just In Time For June 4th

Fong Foods latest miracle product, ONO, is ready for testing. Director of Marketing, Ming, hopes to conduct an extensive trial run at the annual shareholder's meeting. Each speaker will be given a complementary container of coffee liberally laced with our new combination coffee creamer and laxative., ONO. Ming is anxious to ensure that when explanations are finally given, everything comes out in the wash so that those who speak can come clean.He is confident that once each speaker gets creamed, everything will start to run smoothly.

Ming Allows Guest From FDA To Post

Graduating last in my class, with no desire to interact with sick people and devoid of all ambition, my future looked bleak. Never really sure if dyscrasia caused dysphoria or visa-versa, my understanding of medical science was limited to lancing boils. Luckily I obtained a sinecure at the equivalent of the Post Office for medical also-rans, the FDA. Ever looking out for numero uno, I became frightened that this new, untried therapy that had a one-in-forty chance of not working could impact my career aspirations if approved and then found to be wanting. Taking no chances with not only my precious pension, but my chances of putting in my twenty, then double dipping for another shot at a pension with the NCI, I let Andy the Dandy take the heat. That clever rascal bought off the aggrieved Company with changes to their next trail, kept the advocates quiet with that knowledge and would have done the same with those pesky protesters, had they but met with him. Now at last, I should have been able to go back to my pre-retirement somnolent siestas if only those louts on the Dendreon message boards would clam up about all this. My one fantasy, is to do my part by someday getting that snotty, unwashed bloviated blogger, Ming in a dark alley and wringing his scrawny, little neck.

Dendreon Devotee Dirties Daintees Dumpster Diving

Until Dendreon's stock price rescues poor Ming from penury, he is forced to soil his dainties going through tons of trash looking for sustenance. Ming finds that there usually is better quality trash in the outlying suburbs such as in Tenafly, New Jersey. Ming was look through some trash there on the curb outside 264 Highwood Avenue and came across scraps of cryptic correspondence. Bits of torn up letters ending in " thanks, Howie, you saved the day. Regards; Andy" and " Howie, you be the man, we owe you one. Sincerely, The Dickster" Ming was hoping for a crust of bread but everything he saw was too rotten for consumption.

Dendreon Needs Ming

A superbly qualified Ming is clearly the right choice to augment the efforts of Shareholder Relations. While Ming lauds their blowing off any first quarter conference call, he feels that "let them eat cake" attitude could be furthered by his own efforts that will be eaten up by senior management. Ming doesn't return calls with the best of them and could have taught the late Howard Hughes about being incommunicado. Management can rely on Ming when untoward questions are posed on any conference calls they still can't avoid. His command of profanity in several languages would make the most hardened construction worker blush and leave every NYC cabdriver agog with envy. Under Ming's tutelage, the Annual Shareholders Meeting would provide only three legged stools for the comfort of shareholders having the temerity to attend. Those with the audacity to ask questions would first have to fill out cards listing next of kin for notification purposes and favorite persons to facilitate reprisals. Our motto will be "Ask not what Dendreon can do for you. Ask only what you can do for Dendreon".

Ming Has No Enemies Except For His Friends

Loitering outside the Buono Amici Social Club, Ming gets the feeling that he waxed much too enthusiastic about Dendreon's chances when Fat Funzi(not to be confused with Little Funzi, Big Funzi or Funzi off 170th st), offers him a joy ride to "Joisy for a little boid wachin" in the marshlands. Rule one on the street is never get into someone else's car. This is patently true when Funzi's crew boss, Joey One-Eye, is seen to be ensconced in the back seat. Ming, a quick study, of course avers that he would like nothing better but must first repair to the little boy's room. That and the window to the alley beyond has allowed you, gentle reader, to be able to read this post. Since the Dendreon ducat has not yet proved to be made of Gold, but rather tarnished by Gold, anything anyone can do to get Mitch to stop playing bocce with his balls and use them to generate some spin for the stock can only help Ming square himself with Don Cheech who was purported to opine, "Imma no like", the last time Ming foolishly admitted to the share price. Meanwhile Ming remains incommunicado until interim and will be posting from an internet cafe in downtown Kabul where its safer.

Ming Graciously Explains Yesterday's Price Rise

His latest offering on the Home Shopping Network, The Best Of Tiny Tim as sung by The Melodious Ming in Mandarin required shares of Dendreon in payment. Hence the spike in demand caused by music lovers everywhere panting to feverishly add that tonsil tickler to their collections.. Hey! This is probably the only explanation that you'll ever get for those few pennies in appreciation, so don't complain.

Compensation Cornucopia Causes Cash Crunch

Notorious cheapskate and disgruntled stockholder Ming was agog to see the lush compensation package afforded employees as follows from Dendreon website;, "We offer a comprehensive benefits package for our full-time employees that reflects our commitment to the health and well-being of our employees and their families. For eligible employees and their dependents, Dendreon will pay 100% for employee and 75% for dependent premiums for:

* Medical

* Dental

* Vision

Dendreon will pay the premium for:

* Life Insurance
* Accidental Death & Dismemberment
* Disability

Other benefits include:

* Three weeks paid vacation per year
* Ten paid holidays
* 40 hours of sick leave per year
* Employee Assistance Program
* Matching 401(k) plan
* Public transportation subsidy
* Tuition subsidy program " .Shareholder Ming is stunned by largess of revenue deficient Dendreon and has many questions. How do these idle employees know when they are actually on their three week vacations? Do any of the paid holidays fall on Mitch's birthday? Why not rent them out for experiments on sick days since they're sick anyway? Is there also an assistance program when Ming gets a margin call? Who matches Ming's losses which are very many K? Are they so improvident that they don't even have bus fare on Monday mornings? Why subsidize training so they can get better job elsewhere? As for insurance,it looks like an employee gets a paper cut and is set for life. All this costs about $20.8 million per year not to mention stock dilution caused by various stock awards and options. Not a bad deal for hanging around waiting to see if the FDA likes interim results. Make Ming Compensation Manager. One small bowl of rice per day based on exemplary performance with free protein in every maggot, gratis. No need for transportation. Sleep in office on straw mats in shifts. Plenty of ticks in ticking to keep employees sharp. Also plenty apples in Washington State. Farm out lazy employee's idle time picking bushels on day labor, piecework basis. Plenty bad apples in Washington D.C. too. Use savings to make their lives miserable. Stockholder Ming is tired of being anemic from everyone sucking his blood. Or maybe Ming just needs more roughage in his diet.

A Sporting Proposition Revisited

Since we all know the FDA is about everything but the science, Ming would like to again give von Eschenbach an easy way out of the Provenge brouhaha. Perform a simple act and forget Provenge ever existed. Fail and its approved. All von Eschenbach need do is sit and rotate his right foot clockwise while drawing an imaginary figure six in the air with his right hand. If he performs this without his right foot switching to a counterclockwise rotation he wins. Fail and Provenge is approved. Since the FDA never seems to pay the slightest attention to the Panel of experts who actually know something about the science, this is apparently as good an approach to approval as any they now use.

In Loco Parentis

Ming has convinced himself that the adopted infant that he once nurtured, little Debbie Dendreon, is now being pursued by two very eligible bachelors. Messrs Pfizer and Genentech are each quite a catch. Both have money up the proverbial wazoo and are capable of supporting the Debbster in a manner that poor Ming can only dream of. They could pay for her further education, provide social cachet and give her access to those very important people whose approval is necessary for her to make her way in the world. Since Debbie is only sweet sixteen, there are those who would consider these suitors as dirty old men who only want to enjoy her favors without providing for her best interests. Meanwhile certain unsavory street thugs are still trying to sully her good name by bringing her down to a level that would destroy her future. Perhaps if we wait until she turns eighteen, she will be in a position to make wise decisions armed with the knowledge that comes with having endured ever more difficult trials. Its really very hard being a parent.

A Man Has His Needs

Debauched roue" sneered the matronly customer, transfixing Ming with a witheringly baleful stare. "Purely for a sociological study" squeaked a red faced Ming as he hurriedly paid for his full color edition of Waywardly Wanton Wenches, discretely tucking it into his raincoat. Ming can no longer become aroused by visions of possible Health & Human Resources investigations of the FDA, hopes for surprise partnership deals at the 11th hour, nor serendipitous decision reversals by a tainted FDA. Ming's jaded libido now demands more than hope for stimulation. Maybe in this month's issue they'll heed Ming's fervid pleas and fetchingly flaunt Miss June's pulchritudinous plentitude draped around a really sexy Dendreon certificate.

Don't Pfizer's Honchos Read Ming's Blog?

Ming assumes Jeff Kindler would be ashamed not to wear a mask if he stole Dendreon at say, $12 a share. As the new CEO of Pfizer, Jeff was smart enough to create an oncology division to develop, license and purchase biotherapeutics and new bioinnovations. He put heavy hitter Marty Mackey in as President and the equally well qualified Briggsy Morrison in as head of clinical development with the redoubtable Cory Goodman heading up research. Tell poor Ming that with all that talent and brains, they're not in the market to hit a home run with the purchase of a baby biotech with three phase III trials in a lucrative indication such as prostate cancer. Slip $2.50 in tax benefits in Pfizer's pocket as they walk in the door. Get a pipeline that can be developed to dominate the oncological landscape for at least a generation. Why does poor Ming living under a bridge have to do all the thinking for this well recompensed braintrust?

I Fell And I Can't Get Up

Richard Pazdur reprises his namesake,the late Richard Widmark's role as rat-faced Johnny Udo in the 1947 film noir classic, "Kiss of Death" while laughing insanely as he pushes wheelchair bound Dendreon down a flight of stairs. Dendreon's handicap was caused by a thumb twiddling Mitch who now stands idly by while helpfully pointing to the next set of stairs available in 2008. And you wonder why Ming plots to save a cool 41 cents in postage, cutting Mitch from his holiday mailing list. You know you're non-grata when notorious pariah Ming shuns you. The P-11 clinical trials were part of the BLA submission. Use the yet to be released follow-up on overall survival as the additional evidence of efficacy needed before Dendreon takes another header as its pushed by Pazdur down the next flight of stairs.

Ming To Receive Warrants And Options

Caught hiding in a bathroom stall at HQ, Ming's attempts at due diligence were aborted. All poor Ming wanted to do was ensure there was enough soap and toilet tissue in there. Any shortage could explain why management never comes clean and why no one wants to shake hands on a ROW partnership. They gave Ming the option of leaving or be subject to a warrant for his arrest but Ming got the last laugh and all the paper towels. Next week Ming will sneak back and see if they serve the same sort of pap in the employee cafeteria that they now serve up to shareholders.

Venerable Old Fangpi Makes Big Stink

China has saying parents use with children when punishing, da shi teng, ma shi ai. (smacking is fondness, scolding is love). Head of Tong, Granduncle Fong has become hong (famous), for being fond of Ming who has the scars to prove same. Ming loses much face, both figuratively and literally when Dendreon get Conditional Response Letter. Venerable old geezer not understand approval is inevitable as he snarls "wo nosi ni"(I should strangle you to death). He also fails to understand a wise FDA(major oxymoron), will better serve its own interests by providing approval if interim results of Impact is supportive before lawsuit, protests and petitions make life untenable by connecting slimeball Scher's COIs to his enablers within the Agency. Embarrassment to current administration in D.C. as we approach 2008 elections cannot be allowed to occur. Only then will Ming regain his guanxi(influence) with old fangpi(fart) Fong.

Collecting Can Be A Rewarding Hobby

Ming's collection of Provenge memorabilia is coming along quite nicely, thank you. The now empty bottle of Tattinger Brut La Francaise savored after the March 29th Panel vote. The now empty case of Thunderbird polished off after the May 9th stab in the back. Ming now hopes to obtain the container of smelling salts that will revive the somnambulant Maha when the Inspector General at Health & Human Services asks her who her handler was at the FDA. Perhaps even the cyanide capsule they wrest away from Howie that he doubtlessly should attempt to swallow to end his shame. The blood pressure cuff used to gauge the extent of Dicky Boy's apoplexy when called to account would also be a nice touch. Ming is eager to round out his collection by getting von Eschenbach and Milken to inscribe their hand holding picture in that baseball stadium, "We know how to play ball ". Ming's collection can only be considered complete when he obtains a copy of the order stripping them of their medical licenses.

Don't Do The Crime If You Can't Do The Time

Finger That Felon, the new and exciting board game from Ming Enterprises allows you to decide the fate of the Dicky, Andy or Howie game board action piece you select. Roll the dice to see which square your piece lands on to determine their felonious fate. Will it be the Ivan Boesky square? Then they serve two years and eleven days in Lompoc working on the dairy farm just like Ivan. Land on the Dennis Levine square and mop floors at Lewisburg. Hit the Michael Milken square and serve twenty-four months mowing lawns at Pleasanton. If your felonious felon action piece gets lucky it will land on the Martin Seigel square and get off with a two month sentence just like Marty did. However, should your Dicky, Andy or Howie get caught on any other square, they will not get a square deal. Their fate could run the gamut from swabbing toilets at Joliet, handing out protection for conjugal visits at Dannamora or policing the exercise yard for cigarette butts at Sing-Sing. Remember, to get the same sweet deals as the famous felons mentioned above, a statistically significant degree of cooperation is required to achieve safety. Snitching on others is the name, getting off easy is the game.