How To Carve And Serve Your Thanksgiving Turkey

You might as well get some practical use from reading Ming's blog so the least Ming can do is get you through that annual ritual without too much embarrassment.

1) Insert knife between leg and body(the turkey's not yours)

2) After fifteen minutes of unavailing effort, stop cursing and pull the legs and wings off with those rusty pliers you keep under the sink

3) Next insert your cocktail glass into the cavity and start scooping out stuffing.

4) After that, stick your hand in and take out the gizzard wrapped in butcher paper that you forgot was there before inserting the bird in the oven

5) At this point you are ready to ask your relatives if they can do any better

6) Depending on the response, you now have a judgement call as to whether or not to declare a food fight

7) At no point should you make the error of admitting that this was really a chicken that you thought was good enough for them

8) Once the decibel level rises to the level that neighbors summon the police as you are once again denounced for ruining yet another happy holiday, grab what's left of the holiday cheer and lock yourself and it in the bathroom