In Loco Parentis

Ming has convinced himself that the adopted infant that he once nurtured, little Debbie Dendreon, is now being pursued by two very eligible bachelors. Messrs Pfizer and Genentech are each quite a catch. Both have money up the proverbial wazoo and are capable of supporting the Debbster in a manner that poor Ming can only dream of. They could pay for her further education, provide social cachet and give her access to those very important people whose approval is necessary for her to make her way in the world. Since Debbie is only sweet sixteen, there are those who would consider these suitors as dirty old men who only want to enjoy her favors without providing for her best interests. Meanwhile certain unsavory street thugs are still trying to sully her good name by bringing her down to a level that would destroy her future. Perhaps if we wait until she turns eighteen, she will be in a position to make wise decisions armed with the knowledge that comes with having endured ever more difficult trials. Its really very hard being a parent.