A Clarion Call To Better Health

The virtuous Ming has no desire to subsidize universal health care for lazy, loutish, lackaday losers who refuse to preserve their health.

Most people can barely waddle into supermarkets to buy their extra large bags of Cheese Doodles after prying themselves out of their autos with spatulas. They endlessly scheme until awarded the much sought after handicap sticker so as to avoid walking those extra ten paces.

They compound the effects of their sloth by shoving anything that doesn't move into their cake holes after which they demand the Government pay for palliations of the degenerative medical conditions that their lifestyles have earned them.

Let them instead take a leaf from Ming's book. Subway turnstile jumping can keep one agile. Running builds stamina when others call, "stop thief". Eating only what fits into your pockets at the hors d'oeuvres table from the parties you crash or the yummies you scrounge from your favorite dumpster will help keep you svelte and save you mucho coin besides.

Unfortunately, the only way most people will ever exert themselves while avoiding snacks is if they are placed on a treadmill with a dollar bill just out of reach.