How Do They Know?

True story. Ming was at the newsstand in the Path train station two levels below the street at the former World Trade Center site trying to read a newspaper without paying for it when some tourist asked if he was a New Yorker. She wanting directions to Battery Park which the gracious Ming gallantly provided without even mugging her.

The question is how did she know? Admittedly, Ming says earl when he means oil and oil when he means earl but she couldn't have known that. Was it Ming's shifty look? Was it his ability to snarl without provication? On the other hand, Ming can always spot a tourist. They all look like refugees from some toothpaste commercial and actually try to look people in the eye. Some of them even smile which no real New Yorker would ever do in mixed company let alone in public.

Ming is now practicing in front of the mirror saying things like "gosh", "howdy", "excuse me" and other things New Yorkers would never say so he doesn't stand out should he ever venture west of the Hudson River.