Ming Is Miffed

Once again the Post Office has betrayed him. All week long he's been waiting for his invitation to arrive for the gala Chelsea Clinton wedding. There must be some snafu with those civil service laggards at the Post Office as they revel in their three hour breaks. There is absolutely no reason that the noble Ming shouldn't receive an invite if fast talking Eddie Mezvinsky got one.

You may remember that Fast Eddy did a nickel for scamming cash by touting his relationship with the Clintons way back when. He got out two years ago. That worked out to about $2 million a year. Eddie and Bill doubtlessly have much in common so if the fruit(that's Marc) hasn't fallen too far from the tree, there should be more headlines in the future especially since Chelsea is on the payroll of a hedge fund. We already know how they operate.

So now poor Ming has to take the bus to Rhinebeck on spec and hope he can shmooze his way past security. Won't Chelsea be surprised when Ming doesn't bring a gift. Serves her right. She'll be lucky if Ming doesn't wash his feet in the punch bowl.

Adults Are Still Nuts

When you're a little kid you never know what will set an adult off. As an example, you could be minding your own business setting fire to a pile of milk crates(they were wooden back then), when some adult would start jumping up and down threatening you with dire consequences and awful forms of retribution. They'd do that even when it wasn't their own milk crates.

Now that Ming is impersonating an adult he still fails to understand their motivations. They'd rather be lied too egregiously by someone who smiles than told an unpleasant truth by a dour Casandra. They still cannot countenance behavior not congruent with their own understanding of propriety however shaky the quicksand upon which it's built.

At least when little Ming was running around shooting off cap pistols, squirting his water pistol at anything that moved and setting off firecrackers with abandon he wasn't stupid enough to actually try to kill anyone. Now whenever some Government says it's okay, adults armed with real guns go off and blithely kill strangers who of course try to return the compliment. Then again, back then Ming wasn't a mature adult. Maybe he still really isn't.

Pulling The Trigger On Trigger

Ming must be slipping. They just sold at auction in NYC yesterday, the stuffed Trigger for $266,000. Why didn't Ming think of this first? Imagine what a stuffed Roy Rogers would have brought had Ming but acquired the original in a timely fashion. Even a nice mint condition stuffed Pat Butram or even a somewhat shopworn Gabby Hayes would have brought the big bucks for a deserving Ming.

If people want to buy back their childhood, Ming stands at the ready to accomodate them. Unless the noble Trigger was bought to make a buck in some wild west exhibit, it just highlights what dummies with more money than they need will do with it. How about $50,000 for a Mickey Mantle Topps rookie card? Mint condition, of course. Put another way, how much will you pay for a 2 5/8" x 3 3/4" piece of cardboard made in 1952? The same goes for the first Superman comic book etc. et nauseating cetra.

Ming has better things to do with his own money than indulge in such nonsense. Even now he's saving up just in case a Qipao worn by Anna May Wong in any of her movies should hit the market.

Mow Your Own Lawn

Better yet, do something useful and dig it up and plant tomatoes instead. That way resources can be diverted from hauling tomatoes to market from the other side of the continent. It's the height of stupidity to plant grass, fertilize it, water it and then pay to have an illegal alien mow it, all the while complaining about our porous borders.

The Federal Government is certainly doing something. They are suing Arizona, complaining that all the illegal aliens Arizona will turn over for processing under their new law will clog the system. Besides doing their jobs would impinge on the constitutional right of said federal employees charged with stemming illegal immigration from downloading porn. How can they even find time to calculate the size of their pensions and health benefits to assure themselves that their sinecures still make those of the private sector pale in comparison?.

Ming plans to learn to speak Spanish. How hard could it be to learn if all those unskilled illegal aliens can speak it?