School Daze

Ming is older than the students, their teachers and most of the buildings from which higher education spouts. In short, Ming can boast of the virtue of experience. Yet looking at sundry syllabuses of several such purveyors of pedagogical pap he is appalled.

Business students are fed a diet of management, marketing and malarkey. Liberal arts students ingest philosophy, political science and fanciful foolishness of every sort. Where are the courses that matriculating munchkins can use to survive once hatched and shoved out of their well feathered academic nests into the real world?

Are there are no courses in elementary backstabbing? Can't such inferior institutions offer up even one course in intermediate office politics?

Any neophyte landing in corporate America, academia, government or even a religious order such as the military needs to master the art of obsequious phraseology. "Great idea, sir". "You inspire me by your example, sir". Even the tried and true but much overrated, "Light your cigarette, sir?"

Careers are advanced most especially in social situations such as when on the golf course. Unfortunately, so-called institutions of higher learning never prepare one with career enhancing phrases such as, "Great shot sir" as the ball dribbles off the tee. Nor do they arm one with career makers such as, "Professional golf lost one of their great players when you went into ladies underwear , sir". (or whatever other banal business the clod has his grubby mitts in).

One sure winner that is always well received is the proven ploy,"Wash your balls, sir?(not to be used once in the locker room, except by the truly desperate climber of corporate ladders).

In sum, grinning like a mongoloid whilst abasing yourself to superiors is a truer barometer pointing towards material success than is reliance on what is laughingly called merit. Remember, you can always salve your bruised ego by taking it out on your hapless subordinates.