Ming Discovers Key To Success

All those Horatio Alger stories are just so much bunk to use a term extant when they were written. Slogging away at some thankless task will never get you all the good things in life. The yachts, the pied-a-terre in the South Bronx, that diamond-studded yo-yo you've always lusted after.

Success can be yours sans effort. Ming has been seeing the correlation all his life and in a paroxysm of generosity that surprises even himself, he will share the secret. People with two last names always succeed. Those with two first names invariably fail. Those with a first and last name have a shot but for them it's all uphill.

But Ming, you whine, what do I do if stuck with the dreaded lack of surnames? That's what the Courts are for you dolt. Get a legal name change. Powers Booth has a nice ring to it but some actor that would never have gotten a bit part without it already stole it. Likewise for Harrison Ford.

At the very least,if you can't even afford the court costs, use your first initial, middle name and surname such as F.Murray Abrams. For once at least the poor Chinese get a break since they get to put their surname first. Wu Hu Tu Yu is a real winner what with four surnames almost guaranteeing success in any endeavor and it even sounds friendly. So Wu Hu Tu Yu To.