Mar 22, 2010

It Just Gets Better And Better

First they send Ming a letter telling him they are going to send him a letter. Then the Census Bureau Letter arrives. Now they are sending Ming a letter telling him that they sent him the letter that they promised to send him in their first letter.

They even ask if he responded although they probably haven't noticed they have questions that can't truthfully be answered until April 1st.

Maybe Ming should send them a letter telling them he will respond to their letter. Then, after he does respond, he can send them a letter asking if they received his response and maybe even then send a letter asking why they haven't responded to Ming's second letter.

And you want the Government to oversee your health care? You better like receiving letters.

Mar 16, 2010

Ming Gets Racist Hate Mail

Yes, the Census Bureau has sent Ming the letter they threatened to send in their previous letter. They demand to know Ming's race, origin and every other thing they excoriate anyone else for asking who's not in the Government.

Why ask such things since in America, everyone is equal anyway unless they plan to make some more equal than others. Maybe they do this already. Witness the mortgage debacle. They already told Banks who they better lend to or else with the predictable results.

Maybe Ming should fill out the parts that are not in English. Maybe Ming should tell them he is a native american and they should just give him back his country or at least let him open up another casino.

All their meddling is divisive, counterproductive and as an aside, a big waste of time. Illegal aliens won't answer, can't answer or won't even get the form. Solid citizen Ming will answer and keep paying taxes so the glorious government can have the money to keep sending him more forms.

Maybe this is the answer to the unemployment problem. Government hires everyone to send each other forms to fill out. Everyone gets a paycheck and has money to spend. Only question left is where does Ming go to pick up his Noble Prize in Economics?

Mar 8, 2010

Your Government In Action

Ming received a letter today from the Census Bureau alerting him to expect a letter from the Census Bureau and to not throw it away. Unless they expect Ming to loiter around the mailbox in anticipation, why not just send the next letter, form, booklet or whatever and tell him therein to not throw it away?

Now New York State wants to tax soda to both raise revenue and cut down on soda consumption to promote good health. These are mutually exclusive goals. More revenue requires more soda to be consumed. Better health means less gargling with soda and perforce less revenue.

Two years or so ago, New York State increased the convoluted instruction booklet and forms for individual income tax preparation to the degree it became telephone directory size. Now it's too expensive to send, so they create the equivalent of an Easter Egg hunt, telling you to go to the library to get the forms and instructions. How many people just now forget all about it and how does this serve to enhance their attempt to garner more taxes by not only making the filing more complicated but making the logistics more onerous as well?

One out of every seven people in this country work for the Government in one of it's many manifestations. Some are so loath to disengage from the Government mammary that they become double dippers. Twenty years in one pigeon hole and then twenty years in another. Two pensions to reward their sterling efforts.

Maybe this post should instead be entitled "Your Government Inaction"

Mar 2, 2010

Your Chance To Attain Immortality

Don't go through your shabby existence collecting mere trifles. Man of the year awards, golfing trophies, honorable mentions. All such dross is ephemeral and soon forgotten after Sharon poles you across the river Styx. Latch onto something that will ensure posterity hasn't forgotten your wretched stay in this veil of tears.

Sign up now and for a nominal sum, Ming will name a pothole in the Bronx after you. Rest assured, a Bronx pothole is immortal. They are never filled. In fact, they grow larger with each passing year.

What more could you ever want than to have your name on the lips of every passing motorist whose alignment goes awry as they hurdle your very own pothole. "Damn that Harvey Slobnick pothole. That's the second time this week that Slobnick got me" or some such other epithet as your very own pothole is encountered.

Let it be written into the record that all those saps who get a star named after them will be livid with envy in the great hereafter as you proudly look down from whatever cloud you've been assigned to patrol and turn to them pointing with pride as your very own pothole causes yet another hub cab to disengage from some poor schemiel's car. You still count for something in the great scheme of things.

Be advised Ming takes only cash for this invaluable service. No checks. No Paypal and definitely no IOUs. After all, being counted amongst the immortals should cost something. Everything else does.