Bogus Proctologist Busted

FDA Officials called police when an individual began soliciting their employees for free rectal examinations to be performed on the premises. Armed only with tubes of K-Y jelly , rubber gloves, a beer bottle and an imperfect command of the English language, suspicions were aroused. When questioned, he kept insisting that while proctologists usually used a butt light, a Heinekin would do just as well. The suspect, with the improbable cognomen of Ming T. Merciless, was dragged away, but kept shouting that he only wanted to get at the bottom of the FDA and uncover all the hemorrhoids it contained.