Charity Begins At Home

Ming is always careful to look under his bed. Those jackbooted FDA enforcement turds, Stan Still and Ben Dover might come for Ming at any time. Ming swears he never solicited money to thwart the machinations of the FDA nor for any other good cause unless you count the time he was arrested soliciting funds for The Troubled Ute. Ming's Bronx accent may have inadvertently caused all those tourists to think they were helping some indians rather than poor Ming, troubled by his lack of funds. So if they haul Ming away who's going to feed his piranhas? Who's going to put them in the FDA cafeteria's soup tureen? Save poor Ming. Contribute now to Ming's Unhampered Living Conservation Trust (MULCT), and receive a free bumper sticker inscribed, "Ming's Mulct Mulcted Me"