Mutual of the South Bronx Casualty & Indemnity, long renowned for insuring denizens of urban war zones, has now entered the field of battleground stocks. Ace underwriter, M. T. Merciless is prepared to offer Dendreon Management our full coverage policy. This includes, but is not limited to, prefabricated foxholes suitable for withstanding assaults by disgruntled shareholders. Razer-edged barbed wire is also available for home and office, guaranteed to impale truculent investors. Based on our survey of current employee activity, we also feel that insertion of motion detectors on site would be useful in detecting unauthorized intruders. Claymore mines judiciously placed in Company dumpsters should prove efficacious in discouraging shareholders reduced to this extremity to obtain information from the Company. We also offer a 10% premium rebate for senior management when wearing their pickelhaubes and flack jackets on site to foil untoward partnership offers hurled in their direction. Remember, going with Mutual of the South Bronx leaves you with all your options intact. Avoid the fuss and leave the shareholders to us.
Aug 15, 2008
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