Ming Decides To Join The Mafia

Ming learned they have a really excellent dental plan so he sent in his application. It contains questions such as "Wassa You Name?", "Wassa You Real Name?" and an essay question of 25 words or less on "Why I Like Bocce Ball".

Ming hopes to garner one of those cool nicknames once his application meets with acceptance. Although he understands the nom de plumes of Jimmy the Weasel, Vinnie the Gimp and Tony Lacks Table Manners are already taken, Ming still feels his many quirks and foibles will engender a really good nickname.

Ming also looks forward to the secret induction ceremony where the candidate is forced to name the capitals of all fifty states while eating a box of cannolis as the made members all sing selections from My Fair Lady.

Once inducted one is given a phrase booklet from which one learns such useful cliches as "Are you lookin at me?", "You gotta problem?" and the ever popular "Fugedaboudit".

All members are then entitled to send back dishes in any Italian restaurant without fear of the kitchen staff spitting in them, have elected officials hold doors open for them and even have no one say anything when they cheat at pinochle.