Dolt!!!

How can you continue to sit there on your fat keister doing nothing when, day after day, your darling spouse goes on and on about how she should have married Stanley Dreckmeister, the Porta-Potty king of northern New Jersey or some such other winner.

Show her that you too can become a captain of industry. Get in on the ground floor of Ming's sure-fire new mail order sensation, dwarf fruit trees. Even as you read this, Ming is working on the prototype for this new blockbuster. Admittedly, he hasn't yet figured out how to get dwarfs to grow on trees nor can he guarantee that any of them will be fruits once they do, but with the proceeds of your investment , Ming will be able to procure enough additional trees to ensure that your investment will be a shady one.

Show your wife, once and for all, what kind of person she really married. Mortgage your home and send the proceeds to Ming at once. Tell her nothing until you hear from Ming that our efforts bore fruit. Until then, let this be our own delicious secret, safe in the knowledge that once she does find out she will laud you for your efforts the rest of your life.