Ming Demands Job As Head Of Homeland Security

Why is it that only Ming is capable of solving all the World's problems? Even the layabouts down at the barbershop says that's so. In fact, in a spare moment and without much thought, Ming has arrived at a foolproof solution to the airline security problem.

Allow anyone at all on planes. However, everyone boarding a plane must be both bald and naked. Naturally a fluffer must be in attendance before every flight to ensure the hirsute are not beating around the bush, so to speak, by secreting an H bomb or, heaven forfend, even a nasty nail clipper in all that foliage.

This would also have the ancillary benefit of encouraging would-be air travelers to attempt to become more buff if only to avoid the sneers of their fellow passengers. That in turn could reduce the Nation's medical expenses as the morbidly obese begin to lose weight that leads to all those nasty degenerative medical conditions.

It's axiomatic that President Obama is an avid reader of Ming's blog as are you. As such, it's merely a matter of time before he bounces Napolitano out on her well endowed keister and Ming is appointed head of Homeland Security.