You Don't Know What You're Talking About

Ming visits your stupid planet and now finds English is the lingua franca. Its harder to read than any other language. Even when you can speak it, you still can't spell it. Twenty vowel sounds and over two-hundred eighteen ways to spell them. Rules that exist but no way to know when to apply them. Last time Ming was here, Latin was in use. Lietera non sum multiplicanda praetor necessitatum. Use no more letters than are necessary. Even after poor Ming masters the language and the outre spelling it still makes no sense. He finds that when ordering a hamburger, it contains no ham. Order eggplant lasagne and there are no eggs. Buy a pineapple and you can pine for the missing apples. Your vegetarians eat vegetables. Presumably your humanitarians eat humans. You recite at a play but play at a recital. You even park on a driveway while claiming to drive on a parkway. Your flimsy buildings allegedly burn up as they burn down. If you are in the human race then Ming doesn't see anyone having a chance to win.