Ming's Delicate Condition

Ming languishing in emergency room surrounded by people overdosed on drugs, nursing stab wounds, bleeding from bullet wounds and a few who suffered the ministrations of would-be axe murderers. Typical NYC hospital emergency room. Doctor go by, see Ming and demand to know what happened to this man. Nurse say the form Mr. Merciless filled out in triage indicates he's a Dendreon shareholder and was beaten-up pretty badly in the market. Ming tell doctor it much worse than that. Ming also inveterate put writer. Got short puts up the wazoo. Doctor examine same and marvel how Ming can retain so many in-the-money puts. Ming encourage doctor to look beyond puts and see large, out-of-the-money, calls. Doctor faint. Team of proctologists now laboring around the clock to alleviate blockage before next margin call.