Curing The Cure

Fong Pharmaceuticals proudly announces three new additions to its drug arsenal. Based on hard evidence, we now have the definitive cure for erectile dysfunction. Known as Purcuup, its only contra-indication is known technically in medical circles, as blindness. We here at Fong, take no responsibility for this as you were warned about it years ago by your mother. However, the ensuing depression that it elicits can be treated by our second miracle drug, Flisohi. Unfortunately, it has been found to induce severe incontinence. While this will not be of concern to you while enjoying its therapeutic effects, those around you may feel otherwise. Hence, our third contribution to medical science is Holdinitin. While this will ameliorate the problem, continued recourse to Holdinitin will result in erectile dysfunction. Business head Fong bows to Big Pharma for pioneering the modern approach to medicine.