Authorities in Gaithersburg Maryland detained for questioning a self-described proctologist who aroused suspicion by offering free examinations limited to only those in the employ of the FDA. A search of his van produced only a heater and a selection of hot pokers. Identifying himself as the world renowned Herr Doktor Ludwig von Merciless of the famed Reiben Ihnen Ein Neu Loch Akademie of Vienna, he claimed to only be trying to provide what was sorely needed. Enquiries to Viennese authorities indicated no entity was registered in that city whose english equivalent would translate to Rip Them a New One Institute. Thus far, authorities can only bring the misdemeanor charge of being a pain in the ass against Merciless.
Apr 12, 2008
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