Nationwide Geezer Infarction Epidemic Noted

Ever since CNBC realized that Viagra chomping geriatric retirees will watch an endless stream of commercials if only the Network inserts patently vapid, but curvaceous cuties on screen, ratings, amongst other things, have gone up. After all, who wants to look at Ron Insana, Ted David or Tyler Matheson anyway? Unfortunately, even though they no longer remember why, said geezers become overstimulated by such viewing. This raises their already elevated blood pressure, leading to an epidemic of geezer infarctions, nationwide. Save the geezers. Ming begs CNBC to at least limit those chest shots of Michele Caruso-Cabrera.