Bernie's Inventory List

The unreasonable and petty minions of the Law now expect poor Bernie Madoff to compile a list of his assets for their morbid, voyeuristic pleasure. Fortunately, while dumpster diving behind Bernie's building Ming came up for air with a draft of that list which he now graciously shares for your delectation.

1) An 8x10 glossy of Carlo Ponzi

2) Six deposit bottles of Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray Tonic

3) An original Captain Video decoder ring

4) Three and a quarter books of S&H Green Stamps

5) A 50 cent coupon for SMUT(note from Ming; Bernie is dyslexic. He means TUMS)

6) An autographed photo inscribed, "To my pal Bernie, All the best, Arthur Levitt"

7) A deed to Manhattan

8) A deed to SEC Headquarters in Washington D.C.

9) An eviction notice to the SEC

10) An eviction notice to all residents of Manhattan