Ming Investigates The CIA

Thumb twiddling while waiting for his ship to come in leaves Ming plenty of time to engage in self-destructive behavior. High on the list is watching television if only for the entertainment value of the commercials.

Ming's current favorite is the CIA recruitment ad showing the type of fresh-faced young idealists they want to hire as a voice-over intones the requirements for hire whose possessors can only be found at Boy Scout Jamborees.

What the clods at the CIA really need are slimy, scheming, devious dastards like the lovable Ming. Just give Ming Carte Blanche(or even Master Card) and he'll quickly go out and buy a dagger(he already has a cloak). Within a trice he'll have all our enemies singing Yankee Doodle Dandy in Urdu, Farsi and Pathan. Admittedly, not a pretty sight but they'd be eating cous-cous out of the palm of Ming's unwashed hand.

Unfortunately, Ming's somewhat checkered past does not lend itself to too close scrutiny and certainly would not stand up to the Boy Scout's Oath as espoused at the CIA so they'll just have to make do with the Duddly Doorights that are sure to apply.
They'll probably promulgate checkoff forms to be sent to all addresses asking you to put a check in box a if a patriot, box b if a terrorist and box c if undecided and consider that a job well done.