Order Your Ming-Away Today

The only thing not in short supply on this Earth is people. Note how they're always getting in your way. Ming can't always be there personally for you to encourage their egress by his obnoxious manner, loutish loquaciousness nor odoriferous emanations.

That's why you need Ming-Away. One spray from your Ming-Away Canister clears a seat for you on that crowded subway car. One sniff will dissolve that pesky line at the supermarket checkout. One spritz rids you of those party guests too stupid to know when to go home. And one dab behind your ear will encourage that blind date that's not turning out so well to flee even before you have to pony up for dinner.

Naturally, Ming-Away tends to cling to all surfaces. This means you. So also send for Ming-Begone, guaranteed to mask the effects of Ming-Away within as little as three months.

You just can't lose.Our operators are standing by right now. Call 1-800-SCHMUCK right now. Please have a second mortgage application handy so our operators can help you fill it out. After all, shipping and handling is extra.