Pfizer To Laud Ming's Eructations As Pure Genius

Consider this. While Pfizer boasts around $25 billion in cash, it's been estimated that more than three quarters of that cash is overseas because by registering its intellectual property in lower tax jurisdictions, it avoids the 35% U.S. tax rate. That's why it's effective tax rate last year was only 21%. But that money can't be used in the U.S. without taking a 35% haircut on repatriation. Pfizer has even stopped buying back stock in the first quarter of 2008 and borrowed because of a domestic cash shortfall. The conclusion is that with Lipitor going off patent in 2010 and with Viagra to soon follow, Pfizer needs its cash to pay its dividend which now exceeds 7% as the stock price makes new lows. The serendipitous conclusion that benefits all, would be a so called stock for stock tax free B reorganization under Section 368(a)(1)(B) of the Internal Revenue Code. Pfizer gets Dendreon at whatever price is agreed upon and Dendreon shareholders get Pfizer stock with a juicy dividend above 7% in a tax free transaction which Pfizer can do and still keep the cash it needs. Why statues of Ming are not even now being erected outside Pfizer Headquarters remains a mystery.

You Have To Advertise To Be Proactive

The people who brought you that timely jingle,"Big Brown finishes up the track while Federal Express has got your back" now suggests small biotechs chip-in to obtain our august services in discrediting it's nemesis. "Hoping the FDA gives the nod will sooner see you in the sod". "Giving the FDA it's head means deserving patients will first be dead". "When Pazdur says,"patients first" it's almost enough to make you burst". All worshipful biotech CEOs can contact the Merciless Agency by leaving messages at Big Vito's Candy Store, the Bronx, NYC. Should Tough Tony the enforcer answer, you don't know nothing especially where to find Ming.

A Public Service Announcement From Citizen Ming

1) Don't drop your cigarette butts on the floor. The cockroaches could get cancer. 2) All FDA personnel are requested to not lean over the railings at the Wash. D.C. Zoo. Eating spoiled FDA members is injurious to the animals' health. 3) Should anyone in a public forum cry out,"Is there a doctor in the house?" we would request that Howie and Maha not stand up. 4) Would the real behind the scenes decision makers at the FDA, in future, please confine themselves to fixing races? 5) When Provenge is finally approved, would the option gluttons in Management throw the stray option to the guy who actually developed the cassette technology, wherever he may now be? 6) When legislation is finally passed, in our world of scarce resources, to shoot anyone caught hoarding, can a codicil be inserted excepting the hoarding of Dendreon shares and Little Debbie Cream Cakes? It's the least they can do to repay public spirited citizen Ming.

Ming's New Cookbook Brings FDA To A Boil

"No One Knows The Truffles That I've Seen, The Dendreon Story" is sure to make the best seller's list. Ming's new "tell all" cookbook will be stirring the pot, hoping to bring things to a boil at the FDA and none too soon at that. More than 200 years ago, historian Edward Gibbon observed that, "All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance". This is now happening at the FDA as they rhapsodize over the latest permutations in poisoning people with chemo whilst remaining blind to immunotherapies which are the future in the fight against cancer. Yet money can be made from anything. Witness Ming's new service aiding drooling myopic Division Directors outside FDA 's Fischers Lane facility unable to cross streets safely, unassisted. Let them pay for their shortsightedness.

Are We There Yet?

Gambling is now known as gaming, giving a desperate endeavor with pejorative connotations a lighter more socially acceptable image. Getting bumped off by your own side is likewise transmuted into the more palatable friendly fire. It thus seems only fair that the screwing Ming received on May 8th should have a more benign appellation. Perhaps, a Readjustment In Decision Expectations(RIDE), is the proper euphemism. So while the powers that be gamed Ming with friendly fire, he should just sit there and enjoy the RIDE. Ming feels much better now that he didn't get screwed but was just along for the RIDE. The only question left unanswered is "Are we there yet or will we suffer another accident before we arrive?

Ming Labors To Keep Candidate Off Ticket

Civic minded Ming is current chairman of the Stop Stassen Committee. Harold Stasson has already run for president, nine times. This time he looks unstoppable. The Stassen Machine can promise their candidate will never raise taxes, never veto pork barrel spending, never engage the country in war. It helps that he died in 2001, but thats no excuse for voting for a do nothing, ineffectual deadhead. Those types can be dangerous as well. Witness Andrew von Eschenbach and his litany of screwups at the FDA.

Britney Spears Pursues Ming's Millions

Hoping to ensure her financial well being after several career gaffs and having finally realized that after approval of Provenge, he stands to make the big bucks, Britney astutely demanded custody of Ming today. Miss Spear's lawyers, playing to a packed courtroom, pointed to the drooling subject of their request, who, as luck would have it, chose that very moment to industriously explore his proboscis with his index finger. Claiming the doltish Ming was incompetent to manage his own affairs, they requested he be released to Miss Spears custody. Upon questioning by the court appointed referee, Mr. Merciless wasn't sure what year it was and when asked who the current president is, he was emphatic that it was Millard Fillmore. However, when queried as to why he thought himself able to be left to his own recognizance, he whimpered, "I got Dendreon". The Court ruled in his favor, citing that as evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Merciless was not only compos mentis, but clearly, also an astute investor.

Ming Pulls Prick For Prostate Prophylaxis

Wrestled to the ground by security guards outside Memorial Sloan-Kettering yesterday and charged with assault, a distraught M. T. Merciless whimpered that he was only trying to follow health advice that pulling on a prick can have salutary benefits for one's prostate. The object of his attack, only identifying himself as a very prominent oncologist, beyond all reproach who foolishly neglected to retain his bodyguards found himself being vigorously pulled down the street as his assailant gleefully mumbled that this should protect his prostate. Now being held for observation, Merciless cryptically observed that there were plenty more to pull at within the FDA.

Famous Last Words Burn Up Hedge Fund Turds

Captain James Lawrence commanded the frigate Chesapeake as it engaged the British cruiser Shannon in the War of 1812. After suffering a mortal wound during the battle, he cried out with his last few breaths the immortal words, "Don't give up the ship". Had the poor wretch lasted a little longer he might also have added, "Buy more Dendreon". Our own ship, despite suffering many broadsides is in no jeopardy of sinking. Any surprises going forward could very well be pleasant ones much to the consternation of hedge fund short sellers.

Ming's Loss Is Your Gain

Forced to sell his luxury NYC condo to stay alive until interim, Ming proudly directs your attention to the view. Yes, it even has windows which in NYC qualifies it for the luxury designation. Impress your guests with that lovely airshaft, perfect for garbage disposal. Open your very own security gate and sun yourself on that sturdy fire escape. Undo that triple locked door with security bar and repair to the roof to hang your laundry. Your guests will be agog at the tastefully decorated lobby replete with all the latest gang insignia spray painted on the walls. While Ming is loath to give up this glamorous lifestyle, he will do whatever necessary to maintain his position in Dendreon and will never piss away his shares although what he does in hallways after too many libations is only for him to know.

Ming Now Persona Non Grata At Supermarket

Soreheads at supermarket take umbrage when Ming descends on the soda aisle and unscrews hundreds of soda bottles, looking for the winning contest numbers under the bottlecaps. This is what poor Ming is now reduced to doing to find a winner while cooling his heels, waiting for interim. What the chuckleheads in management don't seem to realize is that it's in their own best interest to encourage a viable retail shareholder presence. The more dispersed the shareholder base, the less likely they'll be bounced out on their collective keisters when its irrevocably proven that Dendreon is worth acquiring. Keep retail interested and hopeful. Token share purchases by a somnambulant management is solicited.

Ming Earns Good Karma

Taking his Sunday morning constitutional whilst fighting off the unleashed and possibly rabid pit bulls so generously shared by his neighbors, Ming noticed an improbably placed toothbrush in the gutter. Already having one of his own, he generously retrieves same and packages it up for shipment to the FDA. Only after performing this selfless act can Ming assure himself that everything that then comes out of von Eschenbach's dirty mouth isn't a lie.

Putting Dendreon's Feet To The Fire

Ming's demands are nonnegotiable. If Dendreon hopes to remain unscathed by Ming's acerbic tongue, nothing less than full capitulation is acceptable. They must give Ming a dollar a day for the vending machine in the employee lounge, 2,500 sheets of the softest toilet paper and a key to the executive washroom. Any attempt at negotiation and the offer will be withdrawn and the demands escalated to encompass Mitch having to give Ming pony rides each day in the office or he will ride Mitch in his blog and on the IV Board daily. Cliche loving Ming says, a word to the wise is sufficient.

Dendreon Deductions Denied

Ming got extension for his tax return and they know Ming from before, so as soon as he drops return in mailbox, they have Special Agent waiting to fish it out and begin another inquisition. Lousy suspicious fascists even dare to begin by questioning solid citizen Ming's itemized deductions. Trip to Haiti under investment expense was perfectly legitimate. Where else does one go to obtain the very best mojo's and voodoo curses to put on Dendreon's enemies? Medical expenses for twelve cases of Tattinger Grand Cru was absolutely vital to maintain mental equilibrium after the May 8th debacle. Charitable contributions of Ming's Dendreon call option investment was clearly a gift to the market makers and hedge funds who wrote those calls safe in the knowledge that they were worthless knowing that Dendreon would receive a complete response letter. Ming also staunchly defends taking his Dendreon stock losses as casualty deductions despite the shouting and screaming of six IRS agents and their Group Chief. It's patently obvious that Dendreon was a casualty of an FDA and NIH conspiracy to delay and defraud Provenge approval. A reasonable Ming reluctantly admits the claymore mines listed as other itemized deductions may not withstand closer scrutiny. On the other hand, denying this deduction could blowup in their face.

Ming Is Collared By The FDA

Enforcement Officers, Stan Still and Ben Dover dragged a screaming Ming away today, for distributing a drug without having first obtained FDA approval. Ming was found to be attempting to induce laughter while claiming that levity was a necessary component of good health and might even help prevent disease. FDA regulations state that only a drug can cure, prevent or treat a disease. As soon as you claim that anything can have an impact on disease, it's by definition a drug which needs FDA approval to be marketed. Without that approval, you are purveying a drug without a license which is a criminal offense. This subjects you to seize of the product and/or injunction against its manufacture or distribution under 21USC332 and 334, The Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act. Lest you're inclined to accuse Ming of exaggeration, remember just one such example when back in 1976 ITT Continental Baking Company marketed it's high fiber Fresh Horizons Bread with the claim that fiber may prevent several serious diseases. They went so far as to initiate an advertising campaign directed at doctors claiming that high fiber could be useful in prevention of obesity, diverticular disease, heart disease, etc. The FDA sent them a certified Regulatory Letter giving them ten days to state the action they will take to discontinue marketing "this drug product. If such corrective action is not promptly undertaken, the Food and Drug Administration is prepared to initiate legal action to enforce the law". Needless to say Ming swears he's not trying to make any bread by posting on his blog and plans to immediately enter Phase I trials to determine that laughter is safe. $800 million dollars and ten years later, he may even get FDA approval to tell jokes.

Poor Ming Afflicted With Triskaidekaphobia

Many sensitive souls suffer the heartbreak of triskaidekaphobia. The poet, Gabriele D'Annunzio, throughout the year 1913 dated all correspondence 1912 plus 1. The composer, Arnold Schoenberg, at the age of 76(7 plus 6=13), took to bed, depressed, and on Friday the 13th of July 1951 died 13 minutes before midnight. Don't laugh unless you forgot that evil day of October 3, (10th month and 3 days =13) when Ralph Branca cost the Brooklyn Dodgers the pennant, throwing the ball that let Bobby Thompson hit the winning three run homer. Nor need we even ask what number the ill-fated Branca wore on his uniform that day. More recently, two other losers who like to throw curve balls, Richard Pazdur(13 letters), and von Eschenbach(13 letters), disregarded 13 panel members while validating the four(1 plus 3)naysayers opinions. They too will go down in the history books for bad pitching on behalf of Big Pharma's team when Dendreon eventually connects with a winning three run homer of its own.

Shape Up With Investor Village's Dendreon Board

All you need to remain in top shape is the Dendreon Board. Make those leaps of faith. Jump to those conclusions. Pump those shares. Work up a sweat. Hear your heart pounding. Get the runaround. Become exercised by what others are saying. Remember even after that workout you can still take a bath. But if you bulk up on Dendreon and the FDA plays ball, you'll be in top shape.

Ming Arrested For Stalking

Petulant produce personnel prodded police to incarcerate Ming after they found him stalking the celery yesterday. Always trying to get at the heart of the matter, even if its only celery hearts, Ming was unrepentant. Just as he's unrepentant in claiming the heart of the matter is that Jesse Goodman did the dirty to Dendreon just to make nice to CDER's detractors of Provenge to smooth his way into heading that division. It didn't work but Provenge does work. Thats the heart of this matter. So if he has any heart left at all, he'll approve Provenge which still is in his power to do.

Ming Admits To Racism

Aqueduct, Belmont, Saratoga, Ming loves them all. Being a notorious racist even has unique advantages. Ming's wrists are very well developed from years of tearing up losing parimutual tickets. Losing photo finishes prepared him for the disappointment of the complete response letter. That the fix was in is never a surprise to the diseased horse player. Just as playing the favorite is a losing proposition, going with a longshot rounding into form is the way to go. That's why Ming is sending it in with both hands on Dendreon's maiden race even though he doesn't like the idea that she's saddled with an apprentice jockey named Gold.

Cause Of Global Warming Found

Ming is forced to confess that he causes global warming. Yes, its true. Ming is still burning up over the Provenge debacle caused by the heartless, mindless minions of the FDA that have suborned good science and common sense when issuing their complete response letter. Ming will continue to melt every ice cap out there, making it hot for the FDA and its enablers in the NCI and their dupes, Howie, Maha, the Flemster and the basement dwelling leeches that put out that National Enquirer of Cancer. Turn up the heat. Roast the miscreants. Shine the hot light of truth on these turds. Make it even hotter until their tiny little careers are toast. The penguins will just have to look out for themselves.

Ming Proposes Renewable Energy Solution

With the help of Rick Shaw, Ming hopes to solve America's gasoline crisis by introducing a vehicle powered by renewable energy. The rickshaw, extensively pretested in Asian markets, uses as its power,the only item on earth that is not in short supply, people. This has the synergistic effect of providing gainful employ for the otherwise unemployable sleezy mortgage brokers, bankers, realty agents and Wall Street securitizers of the subprime mortgage fiasco. Strapped to a rickshaw, fed the stray moldy hot dog and cup of lukewarm coffee most days, they can probably survive weeks and sometimes even months before their lungs give out. By then, there should be yet more, superfluous slobs ready to take their place. Smokers need not apply.

Great Expectorations

Ming's latest moneymaker is the customized cuspidor so long absent from the American scene. The epiphany for this new product was the result of the FDA being mentioned in Ming's presence, thus eliciting the mandatory three spits to windward into spitoonless space. This was not well received by Ming's hostess who saw said loogies land in her punch bowl. Thus Ming saw a need and hopes small biotech investors fill it. His new line includes the Howie, the Maha and the extra large Pazdur. Each model has its eponymous personage's countenance pictured to make for accurate aiming. The only possible downside is that much like Ming, many purchasers, especially Dendreon shareholders, could seriously dehydrate themselves in their enthusiasm. Ming only hopes his new product hawks up much interest.

A Kind Kindler Could

Ming assumes Jeff Kindler would be ashamed not to wear a mask if he stole Dendreon at, let us say, $12 a share. As the new CEO of Pfizer, Jeff was smart enough to create an oncology division to develop, license and purchase biotherapeutics and new bioinnovations. He put heavy hitter Marty Mackey in as President and the equally well qualified Briggsy Morrison in as head of clinical development with the redoubtable Cory Goodman heading up research. Tell poor Ming that with all that talent and brains, they're not in the market to hit a home run with the purchase of a baby biotech with three phase III trials in a lucrative indication such as prostate cancer. Slip $2.50 in tax benefits in Pfizer's pocket as they walk in the door. Get a pipeline that can be developed to dominate the oncological landscape for at least a generation. Why does poor Ming living under a bridge have to do all the thinking for this well recompensed braintrust?

Ming Suffers Taxing Experience

Neighbors all called police, swearing that someone was being murdered. Cries of anguish, shrieks of rage, pleas for mercy all emanated from Ming's tastefully appointed cardboard box under Andy's bridge. Just now filing his tax return after getting an extension, and seeing just how badly he did last year is adding insult to injury. Ming was forced to seek solace in the Bible. The Book of Genesis states, "The whole lifetime of Adam was nine hundred and thirty years. The whole lifetime of Seth was nine hundred and twelve years". At a crappy $3,000 a year for the maximum deduction of capital losses against ordinary income, Ming better start taking better care of himself. No more gorging on chocolate covered herring. No more second helpings of candied sauerkraut. Ming must attain the biblical lifespan to make use of his loses if Dendreon doesn't cough up some capital appreciation pretty soon.

Student Of History Ming Is Confused

Reading around in American history and noting when sundry participants croaked(to use the technical medical term),one sees that when not brought down by some opportunistic disease for which we now have a cure, such as cholera or yellow fever, they lived at least as long as we do unless bumped off(another medical term) by indians ,duels or drinking themselves to death. So why must poor Ming be subjected to all these allusions on television commercials to his own infirmities, real and imagined? If left up to Madison Avenue, they would have Ming running to some quack,(esteemed medical professional) to bulk up on all the palliatives advertised, most of whose contraindications could also be treated by the other palliatives on the list. How many trips to the Bahamas is the impecunious Ming supposed to finance for the medical community just so he can live as long as his sainted ancestors did without any such crappola?(Ming only hopes his use of technical medical jargon will not cause the lay reader any confusion).

Is It Nepotism When You Hire Yourself?

Ming has it on good authority that the Leader of the CDER Direct Search Committee was more favorably disposed towards Janet Woodcock for that position over the more obvious choice, Jesse Goodman. Ming suspects this is no coincidence since the Leader of the CDER Direct Search Committee was Janet Woodcock. Rather a bit of a shame that after Goodman hung Provenge out to dry, hoping to increase his chances to head CDER by keeping the peace with CDER's minions, it still wasn't enough to insinuate himself into position to head that Division. Note that the Pharmaceutical Research & Manufacturers of America issued a statement strongly supporting the announcement, citing her "willingness to work with diverse partners". Who still says that she's too cozy with industry? Certainly not Amgen's Paul Eisenberg, their V.P. of Global Marketing Affairs who very presciently suggested beforehand that she should pick somebody like herself. And so she did. Ming likes Amgen's chances on whatever they present to CDER in future.